A letter of apology to my beloved country..

October 6th, 2011  |  No Comments

Dear Egypt,

I still remember the last year’s blog-post on the 6th of October .. and I still remember how tough I was .. and how sharp my words were .. But I don’t regret any word I said, ’cause I was really angry with you .. and angry with myself too ..

I was searching for any victory to celebrate ,.. I was searching for a reason to be proud, ’cause I didn’t know why I was proud of being Egyptian!!

And I still remember how I avoided – on that day- to hear any “song about victory” for the first time in my life!! I still remember the song I played last year .. “Adda el Nahar –  The day is gone” – which is about the so-called “Setback” of the June war 1967 !! I played it and I was so angry with you! ..

And today, I’m still angry with you, to be honest .. but I finally have some reasons to be proud .. And I didn’t think of the setback today .. I’ve just thought about our martyrs in 1973 .. and also in 2011 !! And I played another song this year … “Feda’ay – man of sacrifice”   …

I love you, Egypt! I always have and always will .. I want you to be better, and that’s why I’m angry with you .. I’m sorry about last year!

lots of love,

me ..

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Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea

August 11th, 2011  |  2 Comments

I’m tired of being caught between the devil and the deep blue sea .. I’m really sick of decisions!! I’ve always been standing at the crossways .. waiting for signs!! for some signs to follow!! I once faked them!! And the truth is: I find no signs in my life.. but I still believe in them!!

 

I’ve always been choosing the “deep blue sea” over anything else .. I hate the devil and I’ve never chosen it!! But the sea is devoted to no one!! Sailors know this perfectly well … I didn’t know .. so, I’ve always been drowning in bottomless blue seas … and I’m finally tired .. tired of the sea!! I can’t even swim .. Sailors are passing by every now and then, they offer help and they blame me all the time.. And the devil is standing there .. He’s there and he’s laughing .. BUT I’m not asking him for help!! ’cause I’ve already chosen the sea .. I’ve chosen my way!! It could be a wrong one.. but I’m not giving up!! I’m just afraid and tired … and I’m ignoring any sailor who could take me home!!

 

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Dear August .. 2011!!

July 30th, 2011  |  One Comment

I love August ..  well, I hate its unbearable weather in Egypt .. but I DO love August .. I call it “Month of strength” or rather “Month of decisions” .. ’cause I always make decisions in August .. good ones actually!! and I always put ends in August .. sad ones usually! But it’s a good month after all .. I like it and now I’m welcoming it with a blog post …. which means so much, dear August! That means that I’m somehow scared of you this year ..  I’m not a good decision-maker .. I hate decisions because of the fact of “losing an option” intentionally and eternally!! This year, you and Ramadan are together .. That’s really good and it calms me down .. ’cause I’m always stronger in Ramadan alhamdulellah … And I hope -this year- you’ll be as “generous” as Ramadan! =)

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Classroom Games In Egypt Come True!

June 30th, 2011  |  4 Comments

 

In a boring class, only my floral notebook gives a hand … It keeps all my funny drawings, quotes .. and also my aimless chats with my mates! In an interesting class, my notebook is still a witness, but this time; a witness to my “forbidden imagination”!!

 

Today, I’ve just found an interesting line in my notebook. I don’t really remember, when exactly I wrote these “predictions”!! What I’m absolutely sure about is that it was a part of a classroom game in the winter semester; Maybe in November or December, 2010. (One or two months before the #Jan25 Revolution) 

The game was:
you read a headline and make it into radio news headline .. and this game was really interesting, you just read the headline, make any story up, and write one sentence about it!!

One of the headlines in the book was:

“President forced to resign”

President?? In those days, it was not acceptable to even mention the “Royal Family in Egypt” .. However,  my made-up story was about the Egyptian president , I imagined the whole situation, I saw more headlines even.. and I wrote this sentence that my notebook kept:

“President Mubarak was forced to resign after the non-stop demonstrations in Cairo and Alexandria”

Today, I found this and was really touched!! I didn’t know what to do .. to cry or to laugh out loud!! I’ve remembered the game and the whole situation suddenly!! And I also remembered the real headlines on #Feb11 !!


I know it’s not that much important for you, but for me, it represents that hidden dream inside all of us before the revolution!! The dream we feared!! We were not talking about it all the time, but it shined from time to time .. This dream was the spark .. and today, I’ve got something from my dream!! Search for yours in your past, you’ll certainly find it!! =)

 


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It’s 6th of October, motherland!!

October 6th, 2010  |  One Comment

Dear, motherland !!

We are no longer searching for the truth, ’cause it’s mixed by lots of mysteries and lies .. we’re no longer aspiring or even dreaming of a better life! ’cause it seems that this chaos we’re living in is a policy!! We no longer believe in what’s being said, ’cause everything is getting worse day after day!!

Listen, motherland!! I’m sorry, but which victory should we really celebrate?!! while we’re crying over what’s going on here!! Can’t you hear our wail?!! We no longer feel we’re humans!! What kind of a future our kids will face?? Those, who are just living freely and dreaming of a rosy life!! How on earth could we teach them to tell the truth bravely, while “you cannot give what you do not already have”?!! .. I’m not blaming you, lovely motherland! Never will I ..I’m just afraid of a day we may shed tears over you!! On that day, I’m afraid not to find anyone to blame!!

We did learn how to survive and adapt ourselves to circumstances .. You, take care of yourself, ’cause we deeply love you, motherland!!

Lots of love,

me!!

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If by Rudyard Kipling قصيدة إذا لروديارد كبلينج

June 29th, 2010  |  2 Comments

One day, my father sent me this poem “If by Rudyard Kipling” .. and I just wanted to share it with you .. ’cause it’s an amazing one!! Enjoy reading!

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

الترجمة إلى العربية لـ :الدكتور صفاء خلوصي

اذا..
اذا استطعت ان تحتفظ برأسك عندما يفقد كل من حواليك
رؤوسهم وينحون عليك باللائمة،
اذا وثقت بنفسك عندما عندما يفقد كل انسان ثقته فيك،
وتترك مع ذلك مجالا للشك،
اذا استطعت ان تنتظر من دون ان تمل الانتظار
او ان يعاملك الأخرون بالكذب من دون ان تلجأ اليه
او تكون موضع كراهية، ولكنك لاتدع لها مجالا للتسرب الى نفسك،
ولا تبدو افضل مماينبغي، ولا تتكلم بحكمة اكثر مما يجب.
اذا استطعت ان تحلم ، ولا تدع للأحلام سيادة عليك،
اذا استطعت ان تفكر ،ولاتجعل الافكار غايتك القصوى،
اذا استطعت ان تجابه الفوز والفشل
وتعامل هذين المخاتلين الخادعين على حد سواء،
اذا استطعت ان تكدس كل ما تملك من ارباح
وتغامر بها دفعة واحدة
وتخسرها جميعا ثم تبدأ من جديد،
من دون ان تنطق بكلمة واحدة عن خسارتك،
اذا استطعت ان تخاطب الجماهير من غير ان تتخلى عن فضائلك،
وان تسير في ركاب الملوك من دون ان تفقد مزاياك المعتادة،
اذا عجز الأعداء والأصدقاء والمحبون عن اثارة حفيظتك بأيذائهم اياك،
اذا كان الناس كلهم عندك سواسية،من دون ان يكون لأي منهم اهمية
خاصة….
اذا استطعت ان تملأ الدقيقة الغاضبة التي لا تغفر لأحد
بما يعادل ستين ثانية من السعي ركضا،
فلك الارض وماعليها،
وانت ،فوق ذلك كله،ستكون رجلا، يابني !!…

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