RadwaWorld

I can’t believe it .. I look back and try to remember every single thing happened to me since September 2009 .. trying to feel that I really did something in this long period .. trying to search for smiles and tears among all these days and nights .. some things are still clear as if they happened yesterday .. and some other things have vanished and I’m so sorry that I can’t remember!! .. I was a freshman, who was head over heels in love with the German language .. I was this 17-year-old girl who thought her German was perfect.. Who had to make a hard decision between being an architect and being a .. an .. one moment please! what do people who studied Germanistik do?? She didn’t know .. and she still doesn’t know .. She chose Deutsch ‘cause it’s simply Deutsch: the most beautiful thing that ever happened to her and turned her life upside down .. believe me, it’s a love story!!

I still remember my first day at the university. I still remember my shock, my disappointment .. and my tears, when I realized that it wasn’t the faculty I pictured in my mind .. not the lecturers, not the students, not the rooms, not the cafeteria .. nothing!! It was a tough day that I couldn’t bear .. I ran away .. went to my sister at the faculty of engineering .. I was seeking refuge in this place I gave up on!! I attended a lecture with my freshman friends there who have always shared the very same dream of mine at the high school: to become an engineer!! It was like I was torturing myself by being there .. It was like I was trying to start regretting the decision of choosing Al-Alsun .. or maybe I was trying to convince myself to take this decision back, ‘cause I could have!! .. But I didn’t. I was always reminding myself that: “I chose my own way and I’m not quitting”.. Day after day, I got used to everything at the faculty of Al-Alsun .. I learned to focus on what I want and skip anything else .. I learned to make a virtue out of necessity.. and I started a journey of improving my German .. and not only my German .. I started to grow mentally .. I found time to spend with books, pens and papers .. But I was so reserved.. I didn’t want to be so social at the beginning .. And it wasn’t easy for me to accept the faculty and their students the way they are .. I was always saying “I love what I’m studying there .. but I hate to be there” .. That’s why I was avoiding spending time there doing nothing .. I made use of all my gaps visiting my high school friends at their faculties or just hanging out at any place with the only two friends I had at Al-Alsun .. yea, I only had Amira and Sonita there.. we got used to each other too fast and became good friends .. we were always together .. hanging out .. attending or skipping lectures together .. eating .. having fun .. making mistakes .. fixing them!! .. It was a very good company .. I really miss it!

Yea, I missed it, ‘cause the half-german Sonita didn’t survive the Arabic exams, and since we’re at the faculty of “translators” –according to its vision- Sonita had to repeat the year!! :S .. She wasn’t really attending lectures ever since. Me and Amira made it to the second year, but we weren’t like the last year .. sadly!! Maybe ‘cause she got used to the faculty but I didn’t and always wanted to just leave it once the lecture is finished .. Or maybe ‘cause I started to focus on other things .. I don’t know, but we were still good friends and we spent lovely time together. It was a good year.. It was the year of the Revolution .. Is that not enough to call it a good year? It was a very good year to us.. A blessed one. But there were also these horrible things that happened, and there’re a lot of young and passionate people that were killed or jailed .. so, it was also a year of disappointing!! The Summer semester was really strange .. we barely had lectures or learned a thing! Which is also not that bad !! This year, I got to know lovely people and I got to know myself better .. I learned to trust, to be honest .. and I also got to know how beautiful this life is .. and how beautiful it is to share your life with others! .. I didn’t like the whole sophomore year!! just the summer semester .. just after 2011 had started to bring me everything I always wanted!!

The third year at my faculty was ..ehm .. I don’t know!! The way it started .. the way it ended .. my self-doubts.. I just didn’t like this year .. along with all its lectures and repeated courses .. But you know what? It wasn’t always bad .. I always had my happiness .. and what always consoled me during this year was the DAAD-Scholarship on the summer holiday.. The third year was then over, my sister got married .. and I traveled to Bamberg, to spend a whole month there ..and that’s exactly what made my year!! It was an amazing experience and my German never really let me down there. I learned how to depend on myself more and more. It was the first time to spend the feast far from my family and friends in Egypt.. I got to know how German Muslims live there .. I learned how to kill my fear .. It was a lovely time in Bamberg.

And now .. here I am .. looking forward to my last year .. It started but we didn’t get the schedule yet .. so, it should start any time soon .. or at least, I hope so .. I want it to start in peace .. and to come to an end also in peace.. although I’m not sure what’s next .. I’m just so excited .. and I’m getting so sentimental .. I love my faculty .. I don’t know when this love started .. but I do love my faculty .. and I’m gonna miss my friends .. I’m gonna miss being a student there.. I’m thanking Allah for showing me my way .. for helping me make the right decision .. I never regretted choosing Al-Alsun .. On the first day of my senior year I went to see my friends and get the schedule.. There was no schedule yet, and since we had nothing to do, I went to the faculty of engineering .. The same thing I did on the first day of my freshman year!! I still love this place but now I know that it never was my place .. I’ve looked at my friends there trying to imagine myself with them .. but I couldn’t .. I didn’t even know which department I would have chosen!! How many friends I would have had .. which place I’d have spent most of my time in .. I just don’t know and I don’t wanna know .. This faculty is simply not for me .. It could be the best .. but not for me .. I hope those who were disappointed when I chose Deutsch are now proud of me! And as for me, I’m really satisfied alhamdulellah and happy .. and, wow!!: “It’s senior year class of 2013″ .. we’ll be graduates soon inshallah .. and no matter what happens, please don’t link it with the number “13″ !! xD .. that’d be ridiculous .. we can’t really believe in these silly superstitions! 13 is just a natural number .. just like 15 .. but not like my favorite 17! xD ..

I know that I might recently sound sad … and that may be useless.. But I just can’t help it .. and I can’t stop thinking .. I’m actually so tired of thinking .. but I already said “My last year will be different inshallah”… I promised myself! so, I think it’s time to wake up .. to be happy .. to set goals .. to make the best of the remaining days at my faculty .. and to welcome my senior year! =)) *YahoOoOoO*